Love Is The Constant

I hope you’ll bear with me for this self indulgent piece. 

My husband and I recently celebrated our Coral Wedding Anniversary, that’s thirty-five years of married life together.   Younger people look on us in awe.  How can anyone be married that long? It is indeed a lifetime for some.  While the older folks, who have been married for much longer call us ‘the bairns’.  Still a young (ish) married couple with years of catching up to do.

Looking back, when we are young, many believe that entering into marriage is the final step in a heady romantic relationship. A couple meet, get to know one another and fall in love, they decide they want to spend their lives together, and cocooned in their rosy glow, then take the final step – marriage.  But, as those a little more mature amongst us will know that marriage is hardly the final step in a couple’s relationship, rather it is the beginning of a grand adventure. Or some might say a white knuckle ride! 

When a couple have been married a long time, conversation between them can become shorthand.  No need to use full sentences, as often the other will finish the sentence for them, or predict what they are going to say.  After all this time what is left to say! Years ago, before we were married, we were sat in a pub chatting away to each other. When we looked around there were  older couples sat in contemplative silence enjoying a drink. At the time I felt sorry for them thinking they had nothing left to say to each other.  I now know better.  Conversation doesn’t just happen when we speak.  It’s the look in the eyes or the smile on the lips.  Words and conversations can become superfluous when the touch of a hand or the wink of an eye can say so much more.  It’s that private, silent world that only you and your partner know and understand.

What is the best bit of being married for so long? The list is endless, however I think the shared memories, created over a lifetime, are pretty much up there.  Like the indulgence of rereading a favourite novel, you know the plot and the outcome, but there is something comforting in losing yourself in the pages.  Shared memories are like that. It’s interesting that we each may have a different perspective of the memory but being able to talk about it to the only other person who was there in that moment with you is wonderful.

Is there a recipe for a long and happily married life? I don’t think so.  Every couple has their own unique recipe.  Enjoying each others company.  Being able to laugh together and challenge each other.  Those of you who know me know I can be very challenging!  Keeping a sense of perspective and just enjoying the adventure has got us this far.  It goes without saying, love for each other is the constant.

Like most couples together a long time, there have been many euphoric highs and some heartbreaking lows.  Life is like that.  It’s what you take from it as a couple that counts.  Learning to take pleasure in the normality of the everyday is perhaps the most important.  Sharing the joys, blessings and challenges of married life for thirty-five years.  We cherish our family and friends who have added so much richness to our lives.  We are grateful for all that life has given us and we are still looking forward to our future together.  We are two very lucky people.